Part Three: The Tragic Tale of Whatshername and All That Could Have Been ( Death threat remix).

They surround me; Jessica’s still giving me that caring look.
“There aren’t any drugs Jace”, Jack says “We’ve brought you here to talk to you”.
“We care about you man” Jacob adds.
Jessica’s nodding her head in agreement.

Fucking Christ it’s an intervention.
I let out an annoyed ugh and seat myself upon the armrest of the old couch.
The circle follows me
They all start talking. Each one telling me how great I am, how smart and funny. Asking me what happened that got me to the place that I am now.
“You wanna know?” I ask them.
“Yes we do” Jessica says with a voice that matches the ways she’s been looking at me all night.

So I tell them.
It all started with a girl, for the purposes of this story let’s call her Whatshername. Whatshername changed my life. We met at a very rough point in my life. I’d just suffered a very deep betrayal and was in a very dark place. I didn’t laugh, I didn’t smile, I wasn’t happy. I didn’t trust new people and ate high end narcotic like skittles. Then she came into my life like a wrecking ball and tore down the pill supported walls I’d built up. Oddly enough it was my father who introduced us. You see she was the daughter of my father’s first girlfriend. Once day Whatshername’s mother found my dad on facebook they reconnected over fond memories of youthful sexual explorations, curious finger exploration under that old oak tree in his backyard. Quick secret hand jobs on the couch in his parent’s rumpus room, All detailed in full on her facebook wall, nether aware that their messages where not private.
That was an interesting notification on my phone.
Anyways

On the day I met her I didn’t want to go. The idea of meeting someone new was out of the question. But the well intentioned pushing of someone close and the flip of a coin decided for me. And it was the best day I’d had in a long time. I smiled, I laughed and most importantly I talked. We connected on a deep level and for the first time in months I let someone hug me. After she went home we remained friends. Late night textathons, always liking each other’s posts. This went on for a year and a half to the point where her texts was the first thing I’d see in the morning and the last before I fell asleep. We’d bitch about work, family, life in general. We’d talk movies and comics and everything else. But when I told her that I was in love she hesitated at first. In all fairness she did try to warn me the romance wasn’t really her thing. But I wore her down, got her to admit she loved me and wanted a life with me. And we became a long distance couple. We annoyed our friends talking about each other all the time. Never went more than an hour or two without talking or texting each other. We opened up to each other, all secrets known. I began trying to change myself for her; I wanted to be the best man I could for her. I gave up the pills, started trying to lose weight. I pushed away female friends that she didn’t like. Hell I even stopped watching internet porn, for the most part.
All of this for her.

And you know what? It felt good; every change I made, made me feel like the man I was supposed to be.
We continued our relationship. We’d sync up our laptops and watch movies and TV shows together. We’d talk about a future where all are dreams had come true.
I was so happy.
I was so stupid.
Just to be clear in the beginning we promised each other no sexting, no phone sex and no web cam wankery. But that didn’t last long.
Soon she was sending texts about day dreaming that she was playfully sucking on my dick and I was coming up with scenarios of us passionately making love. Me caressing her, kissing her, and going down on her. Among many other things.

She is a liar and I was delusional.
But I yearned to be near her. Yearned to feel her, smell her, and hold her hand. I thought that she was what my life had been building to.
I was an idiot.
But I spent money I didn’t have and bough the ticket. In spite of every ones warnings I took time off work and went to be with my Whatshername.
The night before she messaged me this:
“All you need to bring is yourself, your dick and condoms :-*”

I was a fool.
When I got there thing where nice at first, or maybe I just wanted them to be nice. But it soon turned to shit. And when she cried to me saying “You said it’d be different with you” it broke my heart. After eight days of wandering the streets of a place so far away from home, chain smoking and debating suicide then I came home.
We were done, the person I’d come to rely on wholly no longer wanted to even speak to me. She was gone.

Things got really dark after that.

I felt broken and unlovable. I couldn’t even keep the illusion going for ten days in person.
Ten fucking days.
After that I went full force on the pill, extra strength Norcos became my best friend. I became bitter and hateful, gave up on a happy life. The bands we both liked now make me angry and almost every girl reminds me of her. I’m almost constantly sad and when I’m not I’m just plan pissed off. Soon my funk spread outward. A rippling tide of bitterness and hatred that poisoned everything around me. Soon I was ripping into family members and friends who did nothing and was getting talked to by my boss for my poor performance on the job. But I didn’t care I was dead inside and not even the pills made it better.

And now here I am, sitting in an abandoned old house. With everyone that I’d considered friends plus Jessica trying to host a goddamn intervention for me.
Fuck my life.


I tell them my story and Jessica softly puts her hand on my shoulder.


I am such a loser.

Jack stands up and walks towards me.
“ Jace we brought you here to help” He says. “We brought food, drinks, a Carton of smokes and sleeping bags. We’re all gonna stay here until you’re better”.
Jessica a person I only met an hour ago adds “we all love you and are worried”. Dave and Jacob nod in agreement.
“You’re not going home until you’re better, until this funk or whatever is out of your system” Jack adds.
“We’ve talked to you mom and boss and they’ve given us there blessing. You’re stuck here. Also you’re gonna hand over your pill bottle”

“Oh fuck you, you condescending prick” I yell with an extended middle finger.

It is at this point that I try to leave and am tackled by Dave and Jacob. While I’m down face deep in the moldy wood floor that Jack digs my “secret” pill bottle out of my pocket.



Christ I’m trapped with four junior therapists and no fucking drugs. Stuck in the rundown shit shack and in a bad fucking mood, I may kill someone before this is over.